The parenting lie

There is a lie in North American culture that you may be living: once you have children, their needs always come first.  Heaven forbid any situation in the opposite direction from our unthinking devotion to serving our children be uttered.  During pregnancy, the baby was already put on a pedestal.  Your baby shower may have been nothing but diapers, baby clothes, pacifiers, and more baby items. 

But what happens to the originating relationship that brought this child into the family via adoption or procreation?  Is there any thought on the importance of keeping THAT relationship strong and nurtured? Do we guilt ourselves out of regular one-on-one time with our partner? Do we find our schedules over-filled with taking children to and fro and leave no time for the one we first committed ourselves to?

I would challenge you to think about whether there are dangers to lack of intention and purpose in your relationship with your spouse/partner.  What will come of the child who's life has been at the center of their parents' every beckoned call once they reach the point of adulthood? Where will you be when you discover your child(ren) in adulthood and not recognizing the spouse you once knew?

Suggestion: invest in your relationship with purpose and intention. Practice putting your spouse first in ways that are meaningful to the relationship.  Invest in your children's well being by modeling how much you love your spouse.

Lauren DePaolaComment