Storytelling Thursday- Mandi shares with us
We become connected and enlightened through hearing the experiences of others. For ourselves, we may experience a release, greater understanding or healing from the courage to tell our story. Please welcome Mandi as she courageously "puts it out there." Consider leaving a "like" or kind words in the comment section for her willingness to share some of her story of motherhood.
I’ve only been pregnant 1 time and as it turns out, I will only be pregnant 1 time. In hindsight, I wish I would have “enjoyed” pregnancy more. I feel like I had a pretty typical pregnancy, if that’s even a real thing. I had the nausea, food aversions and cravings, back pain, frequent potty breaks, tiredness, etc. I didn’t experience any trauma during pregnancy and it was uneventful. I absolutely loved feeling my son move around and kick. It was definitely a special time in my life and I wish I had documented more, savored the feeling more, taken more pictures.
Toward the end of my pregnancy, my blood pressure started to climb but not to outrageous levels. They did however, decide to induce labor at 39 weeks because it continued to climb and was getting close to dangerous levels. They induced labor, gave me an epidural, and I labored most of the day. Somewhere around 8-9 centimeters, I stopped dilating so they ended up doing a c-section to deliver my son. He was a big guy! 9 pounds and 3 ounces. He wasn’t fully engaged into my cervix and was a little crooked. They said that is why I stopped dilating. After hearing his weight I was kinda relieved that I didn’t have him the natural way!
Immediately after being taken into recovery and watching the nurse bathe Eli, my blood pressure plummeted and they discovered that I was still bleeding heavily. I don’t remember all the interventions they did to try to stop the bleeding but ultimately they had to remove my uterus to save my life. I was incredibly thankful to be alive and that my son was perfectly healthy and completely unaffected by this. I was also deeply saddened that I would never be able to have children again. I felt like I wasn’t a woman anymore. I felt like a piece of me was stolen and that what happened to me was unfair. I don’t feel like I spiraled into depression but maybe had I known a little more about postpartum depression, I would have reached out.
To this day, I still feel a twinge of sadness when I hear of new pregnancies and sometimes anger when I hear about a pregnant woman binge drinking and doing drugs. But ultimately I consider myself blessed beyond measure. I have a healthy and happy 3 year old boy, who quite honestly keeps me so busy, it’s hard to imagine another one!